My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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