you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Randomize