is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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