he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
