hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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