At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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