Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
So much Jack, so little girl.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize