Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
