The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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