I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize