So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
