I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
