My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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