KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
