Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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