You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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