You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
