So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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