and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
this hospital has no fireball
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
