He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize