I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
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