And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I have fence marks all over my body
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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