: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize