Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Michael Bay diarrhea
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
