sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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