that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
The struggles of a small town man whore
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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