its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
