I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
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