I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I need to stop coming to work sober
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize