We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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