Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize