Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
