Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
