I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
He better not be in your backpack
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
