Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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