I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
So much rum. So many feels.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
