Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
