how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
