I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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