I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
