White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
