I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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