so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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