who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize