so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
