I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
