i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
