Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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