mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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