before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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