my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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