I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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