im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
