the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
