i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
