You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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