Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
