trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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