fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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