I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize