I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
two words: eviction party
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
