It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
50% drunk capacity currently
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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