I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Randomize
