If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
