i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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