I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
