You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
All the doctor said was why
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
