Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
