haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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