I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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