its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
