Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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