I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
A+ Viking dick
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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