If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
