How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
