i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
