I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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