My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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