No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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