Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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