Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
