At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
