Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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