I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
it's like heaven, but drunker
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
