Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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