This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize