ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
